Well here we are. After three years of going through this venture, I figured it’s a good time to reflect on what has happened through these 5 semesters.
So, the story goes as follows. I wrote the first paragraph and had to leave for an errand for a while. Then I came back and realized the score for one of my courses was in – one that I was partially hopeful not to be awful. Boy oh boy how wrong was I! My attitude before this revelation was more on the positive side that I managed to lead a fairly decent student life. Now, not so much. (Operating Systems be damned!)
I always believed that the main benefit of college is getting to know like-minded classmates and smart people who sacrificed a considerable amount to qualify to attend the top universities (top is an exaggerated adjective to use for College of Computer Engineering in University of Tehran, but it’s what we got in Iran anyway, I’ve heard it once was a fine establishment). So I started university with the mindset that pursuing high scores was a second priority. Now I think of it as a cope to not try to reach excellence and avoid losing in another race or contest after a loss from my Olympiad era – I don’t regret anything from then but it was a loss anyway. I usually settled for good enough other than courses that I was personally passionate about. Even having near failures in subjects I didn’t deem worthy of my time (still I don’t think there is any alternate universe in which I can ace signal processing with Fourier transforms feeding into Laplace and whatnot but not writing it off from the beginning of the semester wouldn’t be the worst thing).
Then comes the first priority, how did I do with the connection building?
I was once called a “Lonely Loser” by my boss. That’s the response I got when I sat at an empty table to eat lunch alone at the workplace. That’s essentially how I act and most of my attitude was in this manner in college. I have made friends mind you, but with great friction and there were many opportunities with great people to create acquaintances that I missed due to being too much of a potato.
I also believe the learning experience is also superior. The case where there is pressure on you to learn a subject you may not be too crazy about alongside a dozen other students going through the same thing and collaborating with each other on the course objectives. Despite how dedicated you are there are very few circumstances where you can compete with the knowledge gain in this situation; given the fact that you haven’t written the course off and been content with having the lowest possible passing score.
My journey in our college’s student chapter has been mainly positive and it is definitely a high point of my experience. After reestablishing the student chapter the general morale was lifted and the college was a better place to be in.
So my main takeaway for my future self is to be more competitive and study more. I might feel sometimes I was cheated or there were better places for me to be in, but this is where I belong. And I shouldn’t shy away from talking to build more connections and deepen my existing connections.
One other thing. Have fun and experience the activities that you would regret skipping later on.
There’s a looming demon watching over us that the person you’re close with now will be in another country from you some years in the future. The epidemic of everyone applying abroad. I don’t blame anyone for doing it. Hell, I’ll jump ship as soon as I find a suitable roadmap and circumstances. But it sucks nonetheless. Having fractured friendships. Who knows what life is going to bring? Let’s not be too pessimistic.
